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Jupiter Ascending Movie Review

BY: GURU JAY

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis light up the screen in Jupiter Ascending. If fantasy and science fiction are your cups of teas, you may find the film somewhat interesting. But first let me warn you! This movie is not for everyone.
Tatum plays Caine Wise, a universal hunter and soldier. Kunis stars as Earth’s queen Jupiter Jones. Neither Caine nor Jupiter feel entitled because of their stations in life. In fact, Jupiter doesn’t even discover she’s royalty until halfway through the movie.
Jupiter Ascending has horrible plot development. The directors skip scenes like rocks in the pond. However, in spite of poor direction, the computer graphics are superb.
In Jupiter Ascending’s case, the plot thins rather than thickens. The dialogue needs a facelift. I’m sorry I tried to give this movie a C.
After a little contemplation, I decided to issue an incomplete grade. Giving Jupiter Ascending a D would be too harsh. It’s an ambitious project deserving constructive criticism and debate, not a Razzie award. Contrary to popular opinion, the movie isn’t a flop.
On the positive side, I really liked the concept and theme. The film crew show a method to their madness. Furthermore, the film has an important message.
The Wachowskis send a memo that in the scheme of things, time is more precious than money. “Your job is what you do, not who you are.” Don’t relegate yourself to daily duties.

In the end, Jupiter Jones could deal with cleaning toilets. A lot of times, you’re guilty of sizing someone up based upon limited information. Classism pervades throughout our society. Also, entitlement poses real problems. Once Caine gets his wings and Kunis secures her title, they’re still the same individuals.
In a nutshell, the film earns high marks for its creativity and imagination. However, it isn’t very logical and quite confusing. Though the film is hard to explain, I won’t knock it because it feels good.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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acting Beyoncé brand names Celebrities dancing Diddy Entertainment Hollywood Jay Z Jennifer Lopez JLo Mariah Carey Movies Music Real Housewives Shakira singing

How Jennifer Lopez Built the JLo Brand

BY: GURU JAY
Nowadays, anybody can be famous. Buy a digital camera or use your fancy iPhone to record your intriguing or foolish lifestyle. Look no further than the Real Housewives as a prime example.

Long before reality TV, Jennifer Lopez was real. In fact, JLo lived by that motto coining a song I’m Real. Respect Jennifer Lopez because she’s truly talented. 

ROCK THAT BODY

In the process of building her brand, the entertainer reportedly insured her ass for $27 million. With the invention of Nicki Minaj now the price of booty has doubled. In this superficial industry, JLo’s body rocks like a Black Eyed Peas song.

The super fly lady’s body is out of sight. She works hard to stay in shape. Give credit where it is due. Who represents Puerto Rico and the Bronx better than Jenny from the block?

BRAND NAME

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Like Pepsi and Blue Magic, JLo is a brand name. Why hasn’t American Gangster Denzel Washington made a movie with Jennifer? Hollywood has dropped the ball.

Jennifer Lopez constantly complains about choosing the wrong partner. Frankly, the triple threat celebrity intimidates boyfriends. You see we still live in a world where men are expected to provide for their families.

Puff Daddy (Diddy) and JLo were perfect for each other. Although her love didn’t cost a thing, Lopez needed a bossy man. Jay Z might listen to Beyoncé but in the end he calls all the shots.

JLo shines brightly because like a distant star she’s been here awhile. Without Lopez, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato would not be multimillionaires. People pay attention to Jennifer, because she’s an exceptional entertainer who crossed boundaries.

Music lovers and movie buffs can’t get enough of Jennifer Lopez. Who makes better dance music and romantic flicks than the booty pioneer? Good music makes girls twerk their butts. In a recent blog post, I proposed that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira make a single. I want to see JLo and Mariah Carey too.

 I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Academy Awards action Actors Bourne Identity Celebs Cristiano Ronaldo Entertainment Hollywood Mark Wahlberg Matt Damon Mission Impossible Movies Oscars Phillip Seymour Hoffman Stars Tom Cruise

Who is the Best Action Movie Star? Matt Damon Vs. Tom Cruise

BY: GURU JAY


The Mission: Impossible and Bourne franchises are the best action movie series to date. Tom Cruise and Matt Damon bring their badass characters to life with their intensity. They kick butt like Cristiano Ronaldo strikes Soccer balls.  
Whether you want some action or not, they will give it to your ass. Over the past 15 years, they’ve built a good reputation. Today, they’re known as the shiniest Hollywood movie stars. 
The Bourne Supremacy ranks in my top 10 favorite action films. I will always remember this Supremacy scene. 


What is brilliant about this sequence is that they’re using their fists instead of guns.
How does Matt Damon make you believe he is Jason Bourne? Like a Mark Wahlberg movie, Damon transforms before our very eyes. Clearly the highly trained actor understands how to captivate his audience.  
In 2002, Matt Damon suffered his first identity crisis as Jason Bourne. His character had more passports and code-names than the President. What is more, Bourne Identity made a great first impression on moviegoers.

The third installment, Bourne Ultimatum, exceeded expectations at the box office by grossing over $440 million worldwide. Ultimatum is by far the trilogy’s highest grossing film. After its completion, Matt Damon entered Hollywood’s elite hall of entertainers.
Moreover, Mission: Impossible 3 showcases nothing but the best. Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s performance is legendary.


You can see how Tom Cruise and Hoffman feed off each other’s energy.
Because of their similarities, I suspect Tom Cruise influenced Matt Damon’s career. The Top Gun sends competition into Oblivion. However, unlike Damon Tom hasn’t won an Academy Award. The judges are out of touch. If the Academy is worth its weight in salt, Tom Cruise will eventually receive an Oscar.
I personally think Tom Cruise is one of the greatest action movie actors of all time. Additionally, I believe the Bourne franchise with Matt Damon sets the tone for the next generation of stars. In a nutshell, Matt Damon is a top action figure but Tom Cruise is best.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

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Academy Awards actresses Audrey Hepburn best personality best smile Celebrities directors Entertainment George Clooney Gravity Hollywood Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Movies Sandra Bullock Tom Hanks

Best Smile + Personality: Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock

BY: GURU JAY

If you’re a movie buff, you know what Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock mean to the movie industry. Hollywood banks on the talents of Bullock and Roberts. You rarely see a Razzie nominated performance from Julia and Sandra.

Both actresses have achieved Academy Awards. Furthermore, their achievements compare with Meryl Streep’s accolades. Every actress tries to act like Streep.
‘Blind Side’ and ‘Gravity’ earned Bullock long-awaited recognition, while ‘Pretty Woman’ gave Roberts instant recognition. If Julia’s a modern day Meryl, then Sandra’s the reincarnation of Audrey Hepburn. 
Hopefully, these actresses use their expertise to start directing. There aren’t many female directors. Hollywood could use a fresh perspective from the ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ and ‘Miss Congeniality’ leading actors.
Angelina Jolie successfully crossed over with her recent ‘Unbroken’ film. Do you think Bullock and Roberts are ambitious enough to direct? I believe Julia Roberts is the greatest romantic actor of her time. And, the pleasant entertainer is very versatile.

In my opinion, Sandra Bullock is one of the best actresses alive. She isn’t defined by a genre or typecast. You see, the best actors make you fall in love with their characters. People sometimes forget that these celebrities are pretending.
No, Julia Robert’s didn’t actually leave Richard Gere at the altar. No, Sandra Bullock isn’t an FBI agent. They’re two true thespians.
In real life, Julia is happily married, supportive, and loyal to her husband. Moreover, Sandra Bullock is a bighearted single adoptive mother. Both ladies are highly admired not just in Hollywood but also internationally.

Is there a love affair between Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks or Sandra Bullock and George Clooney? Those actors have great chemistry. Scientists should study their DNA samples. For what it’s worth, the best smile belongs to Julia Roberts. And the best personality is Sandra Bullock.  

Julia, Sandra, Tom, and George need to squash their rivalries before it’s too late. There’s no reason why they can’t make flicks together. Can we at least get a TV drama series as a consolation prize?

All Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Actors Beverly Hills Cop Box Office Celebrities Celebrity comedians comedy comics Coming to America Dave Chappelle Eddie Murphy Entertainment Fandom Funny Hollywood Movies Shrek standup Trading Places

Is Eddie Murphy the Best Comedic Actor Ever?

BY: GURU JAY

Photo By: Wikimedia Commons
Of all celebrity types, standup comedians wear the thickest skin. Even Dave Chappelle gets booed offstage sometimes. Some people are mean, nasty, and never satisfied.
If you have a good sense of humor, a little negativity shouldn’t discourage you. You’ll find that constructive criticism helps propel you to newer heights. Nothing’s stopping you from becoming the next Eddie Murphy.
Comedy’s competitive nature might frighten some. I admire Murphy because he’s fearless. He doesn’t back down from a challenge.
Furthermore, Hollywood still embraces him after four decades. Eddie started on Saturday Night Live in 1980. Since then, he’s always been a conversation starter.
Comedians often impersonate Eddie’s unique laughter. Have you tried laughing like Edward? Man, Murphy is such a character.
If Eddie Murphy was strapped for cash, he could sue everybody who borrows from his ‘Raw’ and ‘Delirious’ comedy specials. Several comics cite Murphy as their influence. Without a doubt, the celebrity is a superior force in entertainment.
Moreover, Eddie Murphy’s movies dominated the 1980s and 1990s. ‘Trading Places,’ the ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ franchise and ‘Coming to America’ are just a few of Eddie’s blockbusters. In addition, the ‘Shrek’ franchise helped earn Eddie Murphy much respect and admiration.
Yes, he’s had many strikeouts, but he hits more home runs than Barry Bonds. If they start testing comedians for performance enhancing drugs, Eddie would fail the test. All I am saying is Murphy’s on steroids because he has a significant advantage.
Did you know Eddie Murphy has generated over $6 billion at the box office? According to box office mojo, he’s made more movie money than any other comedian. He’s currently the fifth highest grossing actor in cinematic history.
In the words of Sam Smith, when you’re in Eddie’s space, you latch on like fangirls. At the peak of the comedian’s fandom, he was first among equals. Out of all comedic actors, Eddie is the best ever.

Photo By: Wikimedia Commons 

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Academy Awards Actors Batman Ben Affleck Birdman Golden Globes Hollywood Mark Wahlberg Martin Scorsese Matt Damon Michael Keaton Movies snubbed the Departed The Gambler the Oscars

Is Mark Wahlberg Getting Snubbed?

BY: GURU JAY

Photo By: Wikimedia Commons
Who are your top 10 favorite actors? Did the best actors get snubbed at the Golden Globes? I think award committees should nominate more Mark Wahlberg movies.
Is Wahlberg a product of his own success? With a $200 million net worth, the multi-talented celebrity is easily targeted. Indeed, the cash rich actor doesn’t need their charity.
In comparison, Ben Affleck is worth a measly $75 million. In my opinion, Mark Wahlberg would make a more convincing Batman than Ben Affleck. In fact, Affleck’s best friend Matt Damon would fit better into the Dark Knight’s armory. Consequently, fans will compare Ben Affleck with Birdman Michael Keaton forever.
Unfortunately, Hollywood is a wild political animal in need of taming. Reports say that Mark was offered the Robin role. Come on, that’s a Joker. Wahlberg is clearly a natural lead actor. He isn’t anybody’s sidekick.
Affleck schmoozes and mingles with the elite and that’s how Benny affords a jetpack. All actors brownnose but Benjamin is deeply connected and highly influential. Fortunately, Mark Wahlberg is a very important person.
Winners associate with winning. Even New York Yankee season ticketholders revere Boston native Mark Wahlberg. Regardless of their personal preferences people respect the best.
Have you seen the ‘Departed?’ Martin Scorsese directs an amazing cast, which includes Wahlberg. Because of impeccable directing and acting, the movie received multiple Academy Awards.
Without Wahlberg, Hollywood would experience an economic collapse. The red carpet would turn navy blue. Seriously, Mark Wahlberg created lasting opportunities for the next generation of actors, musicians, and producers.
‘The Gambler’ rolls dice and plays Russian roulette. In addition, the celebrity takes over the ‘Transformers’ franchise. Any picture the actor attaches himself to gets photo shopped.
The detractors will say Mark Wahlberg’s mainstream and commercial. And, they’re right. But, Wahlberg handles business. He is one of the best. Yes, Hollywood is snubbing Mark because they’re secretly jealous.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Actors Avengers Battle Royal Captain America: Age of Ultron Celebs Chris Evans Chris Hemsworth Chris Pratt Guardians of the Galaxy Hollywood Jurassic World Marvel Movies Star Wars Thor

Battle Royal Chris Evans, Pratt and Hemsworth

BY: GURU JAY

Photo By: Wikimedia Commons

The biggest first name in Hollywood is Chris. Evans, Hemsworth and Pratt are making strides on the Walk of Fame. What is more, this trio’s footprints belong on the Boulevard.


You don’t want Chris Evans’ representation. He should fire his manager. Darn it! Chris Evans is a franchise player making a rookie’s salary.

People magazine named Chris Hemsworth the sexiest man alive. Apparently they forgot about the other two ‘Christies’ Evans and Pratt. Oh, how superficial can Hollywood get?
All these actors have one thing in common. You guessed it. They’re gym rats.

 Photo By: Wikimedia Commons

Here’s the truth. Hollywood leading men must have astronomically sized muscles. In case you’re not physically imposing, you need to work twice as hard to land auditions. It’s rare but talent beats brute force on occasion.
Give Hemsworth credit for his role selection. Have you seen ‘Thor?’ Do you plan to go see his new movie ‘Blackhat?’
‘Parks and Recreation’ cast member Chris Pratt came a long way from Jump Street. ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ was his big break. Always keep the line open, in case Marvel calls.
Pratt stars in the highly anticipated Jurassic World. With such favorable momentum, how can Chris lose? Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Photo By: Wikimedia Commons

Furthermore, Hemsworth has a key role in ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron.’ I predict Avengers will take the second slot right after ‘Star Wars.’ Franchises tend to do swell at the box office.
Who would win a hypothetical Battle Royal? If I were a betting man, I’d choose Evans because he seems more assertive. In combat sports such as wrestling and boxing one’s awareness is critical.
Evans is only 6’0. Pratt stands at 6’2. And Hemsworth comes in at 6’3. Hemsworth could overpower Pratt.
Between these ‘Marvel’ movie stars, Chris Pratt is the best actor. Am I right? Who’s better?
I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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