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How Eva Longoria Makes TV Better

BY: GURU JAY
Telenovela starring Eva Longoria is a funny Latino TV show. NBC desperately needs the Desperate Housewife to perform in its lineup. Let’s give Longoria some time to develop her character before writing off the new series.
One thing is for sure; Eva is one of the hottest 40 years olds in TV history. She’s slowly cashing in on her brand power. Moreover, her star power is already extraordinary.
Even if Telenovela is cancelled, Eva will keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny. In other words, the actress is well equipped with battery power as well.

She belongs barefooted on the beach in a bikini. The Paparazzi pounces on the chance to snap photos of a half-naked Eva Longoria. I won’t say her body is perfect but I will say her body has minimal imperfections.
Curves come in handy when the director yells cut and action. Did you know Eva Longoria is a director and producer too? If you want the biggest payday, consider directing and producing. An average director pulls in more bucks than the highest paid actor.
Because the senorita’s an executive producer of Devious Maids, she can kick her feet up and light a cigar- or bong depending on the mood. The celebrity can make demands because she’s a mover and shaker. Moreover, Eva has perfected her rhythm.
It seems meeting the Dalai Lama had a profound effect on the star. She’s in tuned with her chakras.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Plus, Eva Longoria is part of the 19 Best Black and Latina Actresses. People underestimate her dramatic skills because they typecast her. While Eva’s great in the comedy genre, she isn’t one-dimensional.
After watching Harsh Times, you’ll see a different side. Also, you’ll like Christian Bale and Michael Pena (who plays Eva’s husband). How does the Latin actress please everybody?
Who doesn’t want to Salsa dance with Longoria? Longoria mixes it up without missing a beat.
TV is an unsafe place considering all the violent depictions. We can do without bloody murder on our living room screens. The world needs more sitcoms and less criminal thrillers. That’s why TV is a better place everytime Telenovela airs. Let’s thank Eva Longoria for portraying positive imagery.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1! 
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Why Christian Bale Is A Top 5 Actor

BY: GURU JAY

In Hollywood, it only takes 1 movie to create 10,000 jobs. What is more, 1 actor can affect the whole entertainment world. Am I being a bit dramatic?
Although I am channeling soap operas, this is relevant. Christian Bale is a topnotch celebrity. He is one in a million.
I believe Bale is the best method actor of Generation X. Who else literally transforms? Like a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger, Christian morphs into characters.
American Hustle and The Machinist
For art’s sake, Christian Bale dramatically changed his body by gaining excessive fat for American Hustle, and losing extreme weight for The Machinist. Movie buffs must admire the celeb’s dedication to his craft. This shows he challenges his limitations more than any director or producer possibly can. Like Scarface’s song, he “pushes it to the limit.”
And that’s why the world is his.


Should Bale have won Best Actor Oscar for American Hustle? I’m on the fence, because the entire cast was perfect. And, I don’t believe an Academy Award totally defines a performer. Plus, we haven’t seen his best yet.
We’ve seen his worst- Terminator Salvation. I remember waking up in the theater shortly before the credits started rolling. Still, this showing doesn’t discount his overall career achievements.  
Top 5 Actor
I saw The Dark Knight in Imax right before my first day of class. It was a great time seeing Christian Bale and Heath Ledger go toe-to-toe as Batman versus the Joker. Isn’t it amazing how comic books come alive?
You can tell that Bale bled, sweated, and cried for this movie. The fine art of filmmaking is intricate. That’s why you need dozens of people involved in the editing process.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Would the glorious actor make a great director? Christian has it in him due to his meticulous nature. I consider him a top 5 actor, because he will go the extra distance. Without question, there are only a handful of movie stars playing in his league.
I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Not Denying Hollywood Heiress Drew Barrymore and Accepting Ben Affleck as Batman

BY: GURU JAY

People like Drew Barrymore because she can be the girl next door or an heiress. Did you know Barrymore is one of Hollywood’s biggest families? Can you imagine going on the Barrymore family retreat?
I like Drew Barrymore because she is inconspicuous. You could talk to her for hours and never know she’s famous. Most real actors aren’t begging for attention. That’s why reality TV stars receive a bad rap.
As we look back and forward at Drew Barrymore’s career, let’s appreciate her valuable and intangible assets. How much is the perfect smile worth? Isn’t happiness priceless?
I’m not denying Drew got a head start. What I am saying is I won’t hold it against her. People can’t control whether they’re born rich, poor, black, or white. You see labels do not define Barrymore and that’s why she is an amazing actress.

Picture Barrymore playing the role of Hillary Clinton in the politician’s biopic. Speaking of powerful women, did you know Drew is a director? She started directing before Angelina Jolie. I would like Drew to dye her follicles jet-black like Angelina’s hairdo.
If Barrymore makes the right decisions, she could become a legendary filmmaker. The beautiful Hollywood heiress can use her connections to further advance her career. However, in Barrymore’s defense, she’d rather gather recognition according to her merits.
The Sony Hack uncovered system wide institutional corruption in the entertainment industry. Hopefully, Sony, Disney, New Corp and other corporations will create positive and lasting changes. Drew Barrymore keeps her name clean and she doesn’t complicate being a celebrity.
Many celebrities crave attention. There is nothing wrong with desiring love. But the problem is excess.

Finally, I’ve accepted Ben Affleck as Batman. Yes, I said Matt Damon would make a better Bruce Wayne. However, his good friend Ben is phenomenal.
Ben looks like Batman and appearances mean the world. Let’s do Affleck a favor and don’t compare him to Christian Bale. It’s not apples and oranges.  
It’s kiwis and coconuts. Plus, Ben Affleck has momentum on his side. It is always a good sign when the media is talking about you.
Like Barrymore, Affleck is a great director and excellent actor. I understand that the movie business is tough work. So, I won’t deny Drew Barrymore her inheritance. And at the same time, I will accept the fact Ben Affleck is Batman.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Actors Best British Canadian Celebs Christian Bale Colin Farrell comedians comedy Daniel Day-Lewis Funny Hollywood Jim Carrey Michael Caine Mike Myers Movies Russell Peters Sean Connery Seth Rogen UK

God Save the Queen, O Canada: Who Are The Best British (UK) Actors and Canadian Comedians?

BY: GURU JAY

Everybody considers a career in acting and comedy. So, you have the chops, but do you have the X factor? What is different about you? Are you British or Canadian?

British actors and Canadian comedians have taken over Hollywood. I won’t say they are the best in the business. But, these actors and comedians are special.

British actors were born to be movie stars. Canadian comedians were born to be wild. I like to start the conversation off by discussing Daniel Day-Lewis.

Daniel Day-Lewis

Photo By: Muckster

By all standards, he is the greatest actor of all time. The Brit is the only thespian to win 3 Best Actor Academy Awards. That’s more wins than: Marlon Brando, Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson, and Sean Penn.


What actor doesn’t fantasize about accepting the Oscar statue?Daniel Day-Lewis is fantastic. I recommend watching the London native in There Will Be Blood.

If you are an acting aspirant study Daniel like the bible. Try to transform into your characters. If you respect this craft, you will gain the adulation of your peers and fans.

Christian Bale

Photo By: Asim Bharwani

Christian Bale owns real estate on Hollywood Boulevard. He is a big ticket at the box office. What is more, there is a method to his madness. He is a fine method actor.

The thespian is true to his art. He goes to the extreme with his preparation. And, directors and producers love this about him. No one is more dedicated than a Christian.

There won’t be a better Batman than Christian Bale. Ben Affleck is swimming in deep water, when he needs to tread lightly in a lake. YES, Affleck is a great actor, but he is NO Christian Bale.

Colin Farrell

Photo By: David Shankbone

The fighting Irishman Colin Farrell is a worthy contender. His popularity has soared ever since the notorious sex tape surfaced. 
A lot of actors coast by on their good looks and sex appeal.

Colin Farrell is guilty as charged. He is a former Hollywood heavyweight champion. Plus he is a prince of the underground entertainment world.

Colin Farrell’s filmography is rated R. He’s a niche actor, which is not a knock. In fact, he is one of the greatest modern day crime genre actors. If you haven’t seen Miami Vice, go see it.

Sean Connery


Sean Connery also known as James Bond #007 is a living legend. 

If you can name 1 bad Connery movie, you deserve a handsome reward. Seriously, you should study Sir Sean like a final exam.

You can spend a week watching Sean Connery’s movies. Connery is the reason why Pierce Branson was the best James Bond.  Connery has helped many movie stars reach the next level.

I admire how Sir Thomas Sean Connery stayed true to his roots. Most foreign actors have to develop a phony American accent in order to compete. Connery broke the rules and succeeded.

Seth Rogen

Photo By: Philkon

Like most comics, Seth Rogen is a funny person. Who can forget Rogen’s performance in Funny People starring Adam Sandler?  I also liked Pineapple Express. Seth’s stock is rising like Facebook.

As a result of smart work, Seth is in rocket high demand.
Does it take a rocket scientist to tell Seth is Canadian? I stand by my statement: Canadian comedians are special.

Vancouver is Seth Rogen’s hometown. I didn’t even realized that they spoke English over there. Still Seth Rogen commands the English tongue like Captain Ahab commanded the seas.

Mike Myers

Photo By: Joella Marano

Celebrity net worth estimates Mike Myers’ net worth at $175 million. Like it or not he is my colleague and The Love Guru.  
I’ll be frank, Myers can pick and choose his projects.

The Scarborough native is the perfect pedigree. He is a Canadian born to be wild. The Shrek franchise alone is valued at almost $1.5 BillionAnother all time top film franchise is Austin Powers.

I want to see more of Mike Myers. Come out of your semi-retirement and do a few movies with your Canadian pals. Please.

Howie Mandel

Photo By: Matt Ottosen

He’s opposed to high fives, handshakes and germs in general. Howie Mandel is a humorous character. He can turn on the funny like a remote controller. He has a good brand and a motormouth.

Howie is goofy. For the record, I hated Deal or No Deal. I thought it was one of the dumbest shows. I still watched it though because my family did. For some reason, the bald one is a good host.

Today, you’ll find the Toronto homey on America’s Got Talent…It’s a much better show by the way. I like it because it’s fun. Also, Howie Mandel is the gel (no-pun) that holds the hair together.

Jim Carrey

Photo By: Georges Biard

Jim Carreyis Canada’s finest production. In all fairness, Justin Bieber and Drake are just beginning. Carrey can call it quits whenever he feels like it. Jim is Mike Myers + 1.

Carrey never retired. And, as a result he never gets tired. He’s highly active and always on the scene. I wonder if his mouth ever got stuck while making those silly faces

His name pops up whenever I write about comedy. Technically, Jim Carrey is an American citizen. And so, I claim Jim Carrey.

This list is not exhaustive. I did not intend to identify all the greats. I desired to give you a good overview and feel. I didn’t mention Anthony Hopkins, Michael Caine or James MaCavoy. I also didn’t mention comedians Martin Short, Russell Peters or Michael Cera.

The next time you are watching a British actor or Canadian comedian perform, realize this is a special moment. I don’t know what it is about the United Kingdom and Canada. But, I do know I can text Christian Bale and Seth Rogen and they will reply.

Maybe Leona Lewis will sing “God Save the Queen” as a personal favor. While I’m at it, I’ll have Celine Dion sing “O Canada.” In the words of Austin Powers, yeah baby!

Here’s a riddle. What is sexier than a British accent? And, what is funnier than a Canadian joke? Answer: This is The Guru Jay.

This is The Guru Jay launching off to outer space in 5-4-3-2-1. Feel free to comment and ask questions. Thank you for reading and sharing. Meet me @ Mars.

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