Men in Black – IamGuruJay

BY: GURU JAY

Top 50 Independence Day Weekend Movies

Happy Independence Day! In honor of the 50 United States of America, I present to you the Top 50 Independence Day Weekend movies.

Hawaii is the 50th American state.

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Katy Perry’s Firework is a suitable start to this special occasion. Check out Beyonce’s God Bless the USA and Jimi Hendrix’s Star Spangled Banner @ Woodstock.

How many hot dog eating championships does Joey Chestnut have left in him?

In my previous article, I said Rotten Tomatoes and movie critics are pointless. As you can see, Rotten Tomatoes gives Problem Child 2 a 7 % rating. But wait, the movie is 50th all time in box office receipts.

So you think you can be a movie critic? Go ahead and dance instead.

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkledebuted when I was a child. I couldn’t believe they got Robert De Niro to star in the film. I wished my grandma were alive to watch it with me. Rocky & Bullwinkle was her favorite cartoon.

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I am impressed by the success of the Katy Perry and Kevin Hart specials. But the Karate Kid Part II clearly belongs in the top 50. I like it better than the new Karate Kid. The first franchise is forever legendary.

License to Wed starring Robin Williams and Mandy Moore also receive 7 % from Rotten Tomatoes. O.k. from now on I refuse to mention the smelly website.

Any movie with Robin Williams automatically earns a 50 percent cushion. The comedian is half man, half crazy (I mean comedic genius, laugh out loud). I recommend you go to IMDB for more reliable ratings.

Back to the Future deserves a place in the Library of Congress. Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd created a masterpiece. The film is one of the best time travel movies in existence. It is an absolute must-see summer fun movie. See if you can watch it tonight.

South Park and Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers make the top 40. I remember seeing South Park late at night. And, Power Rangers came on in the morning just before school started. It’s pretty cool when television shows get made into motion pictures.

My jaw dropped as soon as I saw Larry Crowne at #36. But then again, Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts blend so well together. They’re like a strawberry mango smoothie with extra ice on a sweltering hot summer day.

Tom Hanks is the #1 all time movie star. And, at 46 years old Julia Roberts makes $10 million, which is unheard of for a working actress. So, Larry Crowne is a logical winner.

Have you seen Savages (2012)? You can’t go wrong with Oliver Stone and John Travolta. Of course, Blake Lively is a tasty ingredient to any Rachael Ray recipe.

A League of Their Own is #32 all time. The movie premiered in 1992. Think about that for a minute. How high would the film rank if these numbers were adjusted for inflation? I think it is easily in the top 10.

Sequels seem to do strikingly well on Independence Day weekend. Scary Movie 2 and Legally Blonde 2 are prime examples. Both movies make you cry from laughter. Credit goes to Wayans and Witherspoon.

Reese plays your typical blonde with a tequila twist. Ironically, she is a brainiac in the movie. Of course, Marlon Wayans is a maniac in all of his movies. In addition, Die Hard 2: Die Harder is #27 all time.

There is not a Sixth Sense blockbuster without Die Hard. Bruce became BRUCE WILLIS by starring in the Die Hard series. He is one of the greatest action heroes in history because of his earlier career success.

Let’s jump down 1 on the list. Look at #25. I had Pre-Law as an elective in high school. Our class watched The Patriot starring Mel Gibson. He gives a heartfelt performance. What is more, the film is based on the American Revolution.

Public Enemies, Apollo 13, The Firm and The Devil Wears Prada round out the top 30. I’ve seen all four and enjoyed each one. I’ll string together a few words: Johnny Depp, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep. When you get top talent like that, it pretty much begins to sell itself.

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Will Smith highlights the top 20. I’ve watched these three movies and give them all good grades. #20 Wild Wild West, #12 Independence Day, and #11 Men in Black The moral of the story is to release a Will Smith movie on the 4th of July.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger holds the 18th and 13th spots. Now answer me this: Would you have elected Schwarzenegger if you didn’t fear being terminated?

He’ll be back…

As I conclude, do you see how the best summer movies open on Independence Day weekend?

Men in Black II ranks 10^thall time. My pet peeve is the debut date. Fans should never have to wait 5 years for a sequel. That’s why I have doubts about Avatar 2.

At #9 and #8 are Superman Returns and the Amazing Spider-Man respectively. Hancock is 7th all time. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse takes the 6th spot like a vampire at night in Kristen Stewart’s room.

War of the Worlds is alive at #5. Who would have thought the man born on the 4th is President Jefferson in the flesh via Tom Cruise’s body. Is he on every top 5 list ever created?

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And now the Mount Rushmore: #4 Transformers. The 2007 film is the 1st installment of an incredible franchise. #3 Despicable Me 2…1 word: Happy.

#2 Spider-Man 2 I still believe Tobey Maguire is the best Spider-Man. But, in fairness to Andrew Garfield I need to see the new installments.

Send me a DVD please. Really Garfield, do you pretend to own Facebook? On a serious note, Transformers Dark of the Moon is number 1. The Transformersseries is virtually unstoppable. It’s Michael Bay’s way or the highway, people.

Click here to see what’s playing now. Go to the matinee. Tell them The Guru Jay sent you.

This is The Guru Jay launching off to outer space in 5-4-3-2-1. Feel free to comment and ask questions. Thank you for reading and sharing. Meet me @ Mars.

50. Problem Child 2

49. Out to Sea

48. Summer of Sam

47. The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle

46. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

45. Katy Perry: Part of Me

44. Monte Carlo

43. Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain

42. The Karate Kid Part III

41. License to Wed

40. Back to the Future

39. South Park – Bigger, Longer and Uncut

38. Like Mike

37. Judge Dredd

36. Larry Crowne

35. Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

34. Kiss of the Dragon

33. Boomerang

32. A League of Their Own

31. Savages (2012)

30. Phenomenon

29. Scary Movie 2

28. Cats & Dogs

27. Die Hard 2: Die Harder

26. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde

25. The Patriot

24. Public Enemies

23. Apollo 13

22. The Firm

21. The Devil Wears Prada

20. Wild Wild West

19. The Lone Ranger

18. Terminator 2: Judgment Day

17. Armageddon

16. The Last Airbender

15. The Perfect Storm

14. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

13. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

12. Independence Day

11. Men in Black

10. Men in Black II

9. SupermanReturns

8. The Amazing Spider-Man

7. Hancock

6. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

5. War of the Worlds

4. Transfomers

3. Despicable Me 2

2. Spider-Man 2

1. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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BY: GURU JAY

Top 10 Comedy Movies

What’s so funny? I can hear you laughing through your webcam. Are you on YouTube watching that funny Van Wilder scene?

Van Wilder is great. Of course, it is a loose remake of the classic Animal House. Animal House is the # 1 college comedy of all time. But, that’s another story.

By the way, I’m just joking. I’m not spying on you. I leave that to the governments of the world. Their job is to keep you in line. My job is to entertain you.

Hopefully, my story will make you laugh to the point you start crying. Don’t you love tears of joy? So, ease up, relax your shoulders and have fun.

Movie Analyst

I am the first ever Movie Analyst. Don’t ever call me a movie critic. Why?

No offense to movie critics, but who pays attention to you? Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t affect the box office results. If a movie has a big enough budget it won’t fail. And, that’s why I’m not a movie critic.

I’m a Movie Analyst. Movie critics do not have clout. On the other hand, as a movie analyst I have a small amount of sway. I analyze films for my audience.

I love movies. You see filmmaking is an art, a science and a business. If you love movies too, there is a job for you. It takes an army to make a movie.

I appreciate fine arts. And, I present the finest material. I am your source for entertainment, celebrities and pop culture.

The following list consists of my favorite comedy movies. I analyzed all these films to their inner core. These are the funniest films of our generation. Enjoy.

#10 Bruce Almighty

It’s no secret Morgan Freeman thinks he’s God. Seriously, Morgan’s huge ego stems from Bruce Almighty. Anyway, Freeman is believable as God.

Bruce Almighty is one of my favorite Jim Carrey movies. We forget Jim was God too. I like this movie because of the clever concept. It is somewhat original.

The film is superbly written. The acting is fantastic. What more do you want?

#9 Bad Boys

Bad Boys starring Martin Lawrence and Will Smith is a hidden gem. Lawrence and Smith play two budding police partners. In the movie, Martin is jealous of Will’s money, success and luck with women.

Smith is called a bad boy because he magnetizes ladies. On the flip side, Martin is unlucky and unhappy and he is bad for a different reason. Martin and Will are a great combination.

#8 American Pie

American Pie was an instant classic. Iggy Azalea would have named it the new classic. But you see the film had a unique flavor of sour green Apple Pie.

You have never tasted a movie quite like American Pie. It is the second greatest comedic ensemble of our generation. Here’s a clip for your viewing pleasure.

#7 40 Year-Old Virgin

40 Year-Old Virgin is the movie that made Steve Carrel famous. The film is in its own class. It is very original. Can you name another movie just like it?

I applaud creativity in the entertainment industry. It is real difficult to do something that has never been done. But 40 Year-Old Virgin is an exception.

#6 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin Powers is an absolute must-see. The movie is a parody of the James Bondsfilm series. Mike Meyers plays an eccentric character with a sweet spot.

Austin Powers is definitely the goofiest movie on my list. Sometimes though goofy is funny. Mike Myers is the man about town. This is his magnum opus.

#5 Men in Black

Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith play super secret agents. They are so secret no one knows they exist. In other words, they make sure you don’t know the truth.

With a push of a button, the Men in Black can erase your memories. They are so called “galaxy defenders.” Anyway, Men in Black is the perfect summer comedy.

#4 Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

I don’t care if you are a vegan or vegetarian. After watching Harold and Kumar, you will crave White Castle like Prince William. John Cho and Kal Penn deserve royalties from the fast food chain.

Harold and Kumar touches on sensitive material such as racism, sexism and drug use. The script is solid. And what’s more, the jokes are funny and timely.

#3 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Did you say Saturday Night Live? Forget that. You mean Talladega Nights.

Will Ferrell is one of the funniest men on planet Earth because of The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You don’t have to be remotely interested in NASCAR in order to appreciate the film. Talladega Nights takes funny business to a higher level.

#2 Rush Hour

“Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” Watch a clip from Rush Hour. Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker are the funniest cop partners in cinematic history. They come from different worlds.

I liked Rush Hour 2 and 3 almost just as much. But, the first one is always the best. You’re introduced to new characters and you have no idea what to expect.

#1 The Hangover

The Hangover set and broke records. It is the funniest movie of our generation. In my mind, nothing comes close. From start to finish, the script is flawless.

One word: Galifianakis. Heck, even the actor’s name is humorous. Pop a beer can and some popcorn while you watch the film. You’re in for a treat with The Hangover. You will be entertained beyond belief.

If I could see only one comedy movie for the rest of my life, The Hangover would be that one. If you haven’t seen it, you don’t know what you’re missing. Everybody makes a valuable contribution- even Doug!

What are your favorite comedy movies? Do you have a favorite comedian?

This is The Guru Jay launching off to outer space in 5-4-3-2-1. Feel free to comment and ask questions. Thank you for reading and sharing. Meet me @ Mars.