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How To Be Like Kim Kardashian

BY: GURU JAY

  
Kim Kardashian is a reality TV pioneer. You appreciate her because she made something out of nothing. Right now, she has everybody talking.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to be like Kim. If you desire fame and fortune, Kardashian can give you guidance.
The Hollywood celebrity has perfect timing. And she doesn’t beat around the bush, despite dating NFL Running Back Reggie Bush.
If you want to be famous like Kim, start taking Selfies. Kardashians are known to self promote. Remember your most valuable investment is you.
Don’t forget to add squats, jumping jacks, and Pilates to your routine. If you need more tips, check out Kanye West’s New Workout Plan. Also, when you’re out partying make sure you look and act the part.

Let your hair down, and ask the DJ to play your favorite song. Oh yeah, ditch those nerdy glasses. Google glass is ok though, because it is geeky.
The sex symbol is a big tease. I believe she learned how to market her brand from Jennifer Lopez. Check out How To Be Famous In Seven Steps.
Becoming Kim Kardashian-like involves sacrifices. Your personal life is broadcasted for the whole world to see. They’re going to judge every action you take.
You must be comfortable around cameras. This is a good time to practice your poses. Trust and believe the Paparazzi will record all your drama and leave nothing out. So get ready.
You should always be accommodating. Watch your bitch fits, because public opinion pays your bills. Be kind, and teach your sisters how to play your game.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

I’m not talking about Kim’s self-titled Hollywood game. Her real game is called Monopoly. The Huffington Post reports Kim Kardashian has a net worth of $85 million.
Can you keep up with Kim Kardashian?
Right now, she is making fast moves. What is stopping you from doing the same? Try out new things, and live out your dreams.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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What Is the Big Bang Theory Without Kaley Cuoco?

By: GURU JAY

  
What is the Big Bang Theory without Kaley Cuoco? She makes $1 million per episode for a good reason. The Hot Hollywood starletis not only a 10, but also a sizzling brand.
Her chemistry with the Big Bang cast (pun intended) has evolved into perfection. Although Jim Parsons aka Sheldon Cooper is the mastermind, Penny played by Kaley Cuoco is the backbone. Without Kaley, Big Bang would likely lose half of its fandom.
My sister is addicted to the program. Actually, she is the one who introduced me to it. She thinks she’s the smartest of our family. Well, we know who is the most talented.
Most Mondays I watch Blindspot. But every now and then I check up on my girl Kaley. Plus, I watch the TV show in syndication. The question is who doesn’t watch the Big Bang Theory.


Cuoco is a top 5 TV actress because of her consistency. Can you believe the first season aired in 2007? 9 seasons later, this celebrity still looks amazing; and, her acting has gotten better.
CBS’s most lucrative asset is the Big Bang. Moreover, Kaley is one of the network’s most valuable pieces. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the blonde bombshell was given her very own spinoff.
I got a chance to see Wedding Ringer last January. Like Jennifer Aniston, I believe Cuoco is transitioning into movies nicely. Additionally, she reminds me of Christina Applegate in her prime.
You know I could go on forever about her beauty, but let me emphasize her personality. In Hollywood, sex appeal takes you only so far. You need the right attitude in order to continue receiving roles.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

I appreciate Kaley Cuoco’s legacy. Like Lucille Ball, her impact will be felt for generations to come. Because I love Lucy, I love you Kaley too.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Why Zooey Deschanel Deserves An Emmy

BY: GURU JAY

  
I began binge watching New Girl on Netflix this week. I firmly believe Zooey Deschanel is a top 5 TV actress. Also, she deserves an Emmy.
Deschanel recently announced that Megan Fox is filming episodes for next season. Can you picture Zooey and Megan on screen together? Who’s planning to watch New Girlseason 5?
The New Girllead actress specializes in comedic acting. I would like to see Zooey perform standup. Although she isn’t technically a comic, the brunette babe is funny. Maybe she could workout some jokes with Whitney Cummings, who writes on 2 Broke Girls.
From New Girl to New Mother
The new mother nurtures her craft. What is more, acting runs in her family. Her big sister/actress Emily walks around in big boots.
You know it is hard working on a popular TV show. In a way, it is an endurance test. New Girlcompletes about 25 episodes a season.

 

I like Zooey because she’s a sweetheart. The pleasing actress smiles freely. And she conducts herself well in front of an audience.
Plus, she sings her own theme song. She & Him is a nice side hustle. Back in the day, versatile entertainers were common.
Nowadays, most celebrities stay in one square. There are exceptions like Lady Gaga, Jamie Foxx, and Jennifer Lopez. On a side note, who could have predicted Lady Gaga would kill it on American Horror Story (pun intended)?
As Halloween approaches, can you guess your favorite celebrity’s costume? Should Zooey Deschanel dress up as Megan Fox and vice versa? Whatever they choose, they will look amazing in it.

To my main point, Zooey Deschanel deserves an Emmy because she’s the best at her job. As a comedic actress in the lead role, who beats Deschanel on popularity? New Girlattracts more viewers than Inside Amy Schumer and Veep combined.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Why Bill Murray Ticks Off the Clock

BY: GURU JAY
Why Bill Murray Ticks Off the Clock

Bill Murray cracks smiles better than chiropractors crack backs. Plus, Murray massages funny bones better than masseuses rub elbows. This professional comedic actor subscribes to the Netflix business model.
His new movie Rock the Kasbah comes out this Friday. With Bruce Willis as the key supporting actor, you can expect a strong performance at the box office. In addition, at the end of this year, Murray will star in a Netflix Christmas special.
The greatness of Bill Murray is that his comedy transcends time. Like Chris Tucker, Bill Murray is in full effect. If you can make it in the comedy business, then you’re exceptional.


All around the world’s stages and comedy clubs, even the best comedians are hearing boos from inpatient audiences. Still, Bill receives constant adulation instead of heckles because of his timeless material. Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day have cemented his legacy on film. Who can forget about Lost in Translation and St. Vincent too?

His FQ (Funny Quotient) equals Albert Einstein’s IQ. Did you know that Bill Murray starred in 70 episodes of Saturday Night Live as a player from 1977 to 1980. In my book, he is a top 3 SNL alumni. 1. Eddie Murphy 2. Will Ferrell 3. Bill Murray 4. Adam Sandler 5. Tracy Morgan.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Only Mike Myers (Austin Powers) has a bigger mojo than him. If you check the demographics, Murray reaches an incredible range of fans. Unlike Bill Maher, he doesn’t polarize parties. Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton chuckle at Murray’s jokes.

I haven’t decided whether I’ll write a movie review on Rock the Kasbah. However, I’m looking forward to the celebrity’s Christmas special. I’ve heard Amy Schumer and Bradley Cooper have come on board for this jolly season. To wrap it up (pun intended), Bill Murray made a deal with Father Time. That’s why he ticks off the clock.

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Kendra Wilkinson Vs. Heidi Montag: Who Is the Sweeter Reality TV Eye Candy?

BY: GURU JAY
Kendra Wilkinson Vs. Heidi Montag: Who Is the Sweeter Reality TV Eye Candy?


Have you heard the news about Playboy no longer featuring nude models? It is important for every brand to reinvent itself. For 50 plus years, Hugh Hefner consistently provided controversial material to the public. In addition, he made hundreds of stars famous. One such star goes by the moniker Kendra Wilkinson.
Kendra Wilkinson represents reality TV like Bernie Sanders. There’s nothing conservative about Kendra’s platform. In the past, she openly dated an 80-year-old gentleman. Now, the Girl Next Door is married to an ex-football player. What other reality TV star can outshine her resume? The answer is Heidi Montag.

Heidi Montag befriended Lauren Conrad becoming a focal point on Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. Later, Lauren and Heidi were reality stars on another hit show called the Hills. Unfortunately for Conrad, Montag dated, engaged, and married her ex boyfriend Spencer Pratt.
So, I ask the question: who is the sweeter reality TV eye candy? Both Heidi and Kendra are drama queens. Also, they always look amazing. But who do you believe is the bigger name?


My short answer is Heidi Montag. This celebrity simply has more reality TV experience than the other. In other words, the celeb has pissed off more people than what’s tolerated. Moreover, MTV not only invented reality TV, they produce the best shows. Who remembers the highly successful Real World?
The entertainment business thrives off celebrities going at each other’s throats. Kendra is a sweetie, while Heidi is pure sugar. Both are processed and superficial. Still, at the end of the day they are two interesting characters.
If you want to know how to go viral, if you want 1 million Twitter followers, then let Kendra Wilkinson and Heidi Montag serve you as examples. Unarguably, there is a blueprint for aspiring celebrities. And these television personalities are architects.

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Why Aziz Ansari Is A Rock Star Of Comedy

BY: GURU JAY

  
Someone in my family, I won’t name who, repeatedly mistakes the identities of Aziz Ansari and Kal Penn. They share similarities, but there is a distinction. If you haven’t seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, you’re only missing out on one of the top 10 comedy movies of all time. I could write an eBook on Harold and Kumar 1, 2, and 3. But, I remind you Aziz Ansari is not the character “Kumar.”
Ansari is a phenomenal standup comedian and actor. Right now you can find his specials on Netflix along with every Parks & Recreation episode. Plus, he is the bomb in 30 Minutes or Less.

I’ve seen all his standups and can attest to his rock star status. The South Carolina native takes you there and everywhere. There is a reason why he’s seen chauffeuring model chicks in that Jay Z and Kanye West music video.

After graduating from New York University, he entered the funny business with all smiles. Frowns are rarely seen coming across his face unless it’s part of a sketch. Like me, he’s a student of comedy, but he practices what he preaches in front of crowds north of 10,000 people. He is a teacher, but not a guru.
Seriously, Aziz is a rock star. I believe Eddie Murphy became the first rock star of comedy. And Aziz is probably the 19th one.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Like him, I’m a Millennial. And I believe he does our generation proud. Ironically, Aziz dominates this digital age by not boasting.
I hope to write blogs as great as his joke telling. His comedy pays homage to Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Dave Chappelle with an original spin. Who’s watching his Comedy Central Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening exclusive?

In 4 words: This is the End.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Who’s Watching the Emmys? Guru Jay’s Preview

BY: GURU JAY

  
Before the Emmys air tonight celebrities are preparing speeches, making last minute adjustments, and putting on their final touches. Celebs can’t neglect a single detail because they might lose treasured scripts. Advertisers are evaluating endorsements. If their Hollywood stars gleam, we’ll see new contracts.
Here’s an analogy for college students. What the Oscars are to movies, the Emmys are to television. TV buffs should tune in tonight.
These are the most talented nominees ever. This year Netflix was the game changer. Netflix earned 34 nominations. Are you a House of Cards, Bloodline, and Derek fan? How couldn’t they nominate a President?
Have you noticed how many prominent movie stars recently received TV shows? It’s great for TV but bad for movies. Unfortunately, it appears actors are being overworked.

Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones earned Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. Also, I expect the HBO TV show will win more awards than all others. Without Game of Thrones, TV would be pointless.
Both Blackish and Empire were nominated. Anthony Anderson received a nod for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, while Taraji P. Henson was chosen for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. Everything Lee Daniels touches turns to gold. So, I believe Henson will come away victorious.
3 months ago I proposed this question: Who is the funniest Amy? The Emmys may answer my inquiry since Amy Poehler and Amy Schumer are competing for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. I’m not Nostradamus. Edie Falco from Nurse Jackie could get it?
Why do the Emmys nominate new and outgoing shows? Also, an established show like Scandal should collect honors before newbie American Crime. Mad Men and Boardwalk Empire deserved recognition while they aired.


Even casual viewers will enjoy seeing Hollywood stars at the Emmys @ 8 PM.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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