Jokes - IamGuruJay

BY: GURU JAY

Tracy Morgan’s unfortunate car accident reminds you to cherish your loved ones. Come to grips with reality and concentrate on good times. Remember the importance of family and friends because as my father always says: “You’re here today, and gone today.” You aren’t promised tomorrow or anything for that matter.

I’ve watched this man Tracy Morgan mature through the years. He’s still off the wall but never out the loop. He’s cozy in his own skin. Talk about a comedian with timeless material.

The celebrity returns to Saturday Night Livethis season better than ever. My mother instilled in me: “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” I believe Tracy Morgan is stronger as a comedian since the calamity. Now, he has a message more potent than painkillers Vicodin and Morphine combined. If laughter makes the best medicine, comedians make the best pharmacists.

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Unfortunately, Tracy lost a near and dear friend in the tragic crash. He saw his friend’s funeral on YouTube because the celeb was in a coma during the burial. Thankfully, Morgan’s wife and young daughter weren’t there inside the vehicle.

I won’t make this a sad story.

Morgan gets paid to make you laugh. His funny bone extends an extra 3 inches. Also, Tracy knows a few things about hustling.

The Bed-Stuy Brooklyn boy grew up in a housing unit right across the street from Jay Z. Plus, he played Hustle Man on the Martinsitcom before his Saturday Night Livetenure. And don’t forget his major contributions to a popular TV show called 30 Rock.

Like Chris Tucker, Tracy Morgan is an amusing character with unique selling points. You recognize his voice in an instant. If you’ve got the blues, watch Tracy Morgan’s movies.

The celeb stays positive. And he doesn’t dwell in negativity. The standup comedian is a standup guy.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

BY: GURU JAY

I’ve followed comedians Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy for more than a decade. They’re true to the blue. That’s why Jeff and Larry are the richest comics in show business.

Did you read about their upcoming tour together? It’s generating a lot of buzz. I’m thinking about buying a couple of tickets.

Whenever Foxworthy gets on stage, he makes rednecks comfortable. Rednecks get Goosebumps, when Larry the Cable Guy comes to the stage. Without question, the Are You Smarter Than a 5^th Grader? host is a much safer bet than the Delta Farce. Sometimes, Larry the Cable Guy embarrasses you.

But they can’t say he cheats you. As a standup comic, the Cable Guy still stands as one of the best buys in my book of comedy. What is more, this generation coming up is arrogant and entitled.

Back in Larry’s day, children respected their elders. Nowadays, nobody values anything. I like Larry because like Kevin James, he sweats the small stuff. In other words, the relatable comic cherishes the tiniest of kind gestures. Clearly, society has changed too quickly. Does Jeff Foxworthy lose the message to his story as a result?

I admire how Jeff doesn’t aimlessly throw jokes at you. The man pitches his material like baseball legend Randy Johnson with crazy velocity. While he’s on the mound, his opponents fear for their livelihoods.

Both comics appeal to blue-collar workers. But, I believe white, pink, and green collar workers can value their celebrity offerings. They have a ton to offer the comedy sphere.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

If you’re going to a Monster Truck Rally or WWE tournament, tag along with Larry. If you’re attending a hockey match, Jeff is your guy . Although they are both similar, we must value their differences too.

For what it’s worth, Jeff Foxworthy doesn’t stay in character. On the other hand, the Cable Guy is a marketing invention designed to spruce up ticket prices. Anyway, Larry busts your gut all the same.

If Larry is comedy’s Kenny Chesney, that makes Foxworthy Blake Shelton. After a long day of work, you deserve to play their comedy on Blu-ray. I bet a donkey, you’ll laugh your ass off.

In a crowded field, they have mastered their brands and distinguished their art forms. How did Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy reach top status? With your help… these comedians became the cream of the crop.

They wouldn’t get anywhere without a dedicated Southern fandom. Truly, they have followers all around the country and the world even. But, you can’t deny the power of Southern hospitality, which brings me to my final question. Who is more country?

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!