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What Is One Direction Without Zayn?

BY: GURU JAY

What Is One Direction Without Zayn?
Who thought Harry Styles would go first? It doesn’t make sense that Zayn left One Direction so soon. It’s been a minute now and there are talks that he may come back still.
I came across a story about Paul McCartney weighing in on the topic. Speaking of weight, I gotta get this off my chest. O.K., One Direction will never be in the same ballpark as the Beatles. Who told you that lie?
I believe One Direction is an amazing band no doubt. Their music appeals to the youth. Plus, the band’s social media game has no rivals.
Nowadays, you’re measured by the power of your social network. With 28 million Twitter followers aka Directioners, One Direction has a powerful fan-base comprising of fortresses and arsenals around the world. Why on Earth would Zayn Malik leave it? Sidebar: do you think Camila Cabello will exit Fifth Harmony soon?
 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
All I’m saying is what ever happened to loyalty, pride, and stick-to-it-ed-ness? What is One Direction without Zayn? The answer is PILLOWTALK. Yes, we got a hit song and top music video out his departure but at what price? 
Maybe, this is the real question-> does One Direction need Zayn and vice versa? It boils down to what is best for both parties. Right now Zayn is in a different lane. In America, it is the left lane because he’s going fast. In Great Britain, it’s the right lane.
Zayn should keep doing whatever he wants to  because that’s his motto. I only ask that he keep making great music for music’s sake. The world needs good music and Zayn makes great music. Like Katy Perry, he delivers what we want.
In the prophetic words of Tupac Shakur, “I aint mad at cha…Zayn. Pillowtalk hypnotizes you like John Lennon’s lyrics. People compare him to Justin Timberlake who left NSYNC but I say that’s some big shoes to fill….not to mention those huge cufflinks, custom-suit, and tie shit.
I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Why Katy Perry Gives Us Exactly What We Desire

BY: GURU JAY

  
In the beginning, Katy Perry was rubberstamped. Fans never had a problem with Katy. Perry isn’t perfect but she is exactly what we desire. She doesn’t reveal everything but she shows just enough to make you wonder.
It’s like watching a modern day Elizabeth Taylor sing on a microphone in her prime. Rarely do singers look better than actresses in bikinis. Make an exception for Katy Perry. Who wants to see her perform on the silver screen?
I think the California Gurl would be a pretty good actress. I mean she’s not going to take Julia Robert’s spot but she can take Jessica Alba’s place. Under the proper guidance, this celebrity can blossom.
Here in America, Memorial Day and Independence Day are approaching. We celebrate first and foremost by: stopping and smelling the roses, barbecuing next, later soaking up the sun, and then listening to Katy Perry music. 
Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
Have you ever been to a Katy Perry concert? It feels like electricity is pulsating through your veins. Katy caters to fans and offers her songs in cold dishes on silver platters. She serves steaks well done or rare. It may only be 2 choices but they’re great options.
Who remembers the John Mayer and Katy Perry Who You Love duet? Wasn’t that special? Do you think she should do one with Justin Timberlake?
I dedicated a couple hours to watching KatyPerryVevo on YouTube. My favorite from today was The One That Got Away. It’s been a while since the last time I seen it. Sometimes we could use a small reminder. Otis Redding said it best, “All you gotta do is try, try a little tenderness…”
In one word Katy Perry is: PHENOMENAL. Her throat is a glorious vessel. Katy Perry does anything to please her fans. There isn’t a finer entertainer in showbiz. This is for you my number 1.
I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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How George Carlin Stirred Up Controversy

BY: GURU JAY
Comedians respect George Carlin’s tithes and offerings. Moreover, George Carlin greatly contributed to society with his witty observations and realism. He saw life neither as a fairy tale or a reality show.
It is impossible to agree with all of Carlin’s controversial views and insights. But admire the funnyman’s fearlessness and tenacity. The legend lambasted corporations and institutions, who really run the world- NOT girls…sorry Beyonce.
Furthermore, it took big balls for George to go against feminism. Remember standup comedy is tongue-in-cheek. Carlin supported empowering women in the same way that Mark Twain advocated emancipating slaves. Remind yourself comedy is more figurative than literal.
Additionally, exceptional comedians can persuade crowds better than illusionists with their timely words and naughty gestures. 
George Carlin explained the game and broke the rules. He was the complete standup comic. The celebrity disseminated information to the tired, poor, and huddled masses. It might seem odd but he engaged both mainstream and underground fan bases. In other words, George had money flowing on bridges and inside tunnels- from all directions.
George Carlin’s comedy wasn’t too extreme like Russell Brand’s erotic escapades. Carlin couldn’t compete with Jim Carrey’s loose movements and crazy facial expressions. However, George Carlin was an original entertainer and arguably the best. 
 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Before Bill Maher came on the scene and pissed off Christians, George Carlin pissed off all religions first and foremost. Yes, Bill borrowed material from George. Comics steal jokes because it is a rite of passage. It’s actually insulting when your comedy isn’t recycled. Dave Chappelle reworks Richard Pryor’s comedy in the same way Kobe Bryant stole Michael Jordan’s jumper.
I feel George Carlin was the Larry Bird of standup comedy. You will always recall his impact on the game. Sometimes, he stepped out of bounds on purpose. Plus, George Carlin intentionally delivered flagrant fouls.
7 Words
Final thought, George Carlin is most famous for constructing a list of seven dirty words you can never say on television.
1.         Shit
2.         Piss
3.         Fuck
4.         Cunt
5.         Cocksucker
6.         Motherfucker
7.         Tits

George Carlin stirred up controversy with a silver spoon.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!

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Why Steve Harvey Is the #1 Answer

BY: GURU JAY

Are you sick and tired of seeing these tensed uptight people? They walk around with their snotty noses up in the air and look down on everybody. Don’t let it get you upset. The truth is they’re miserable inside. They don’t have any sense. And they definitely don’t have a sense of humor.
Steve Harvey is the answer to their problems. Buy a Steve Harvey DVD and give it to these people. They desperately need more laughter in their lives. Over the years, Harvey has a built a name for himself on TV, radio, and in movies.
Consider his dominant TV presence. Hosting Family Feud is a prestigious honor. His hit show Little Big Shots is a new sensation. Also, the comedian’s daytime talk show helps establish his durable brand. The multitalented entertainer can sing a little too.
He’s up for all challenges. He’s a workaholic. But it’s his moment. You rise up to the occasion when it’s your chance to swing. Opportunities have an expiration date like milk. Don’t spoil your talent and waste my time.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man changed the game for Mr. Harvey. Can I keep it real? Before that he was a borderline has-been. However, he never quit… thank God. The celebrity is too resilient to succumb to defeat. Moreover, Steve’s spirituality keeps him whole.
Yes, his net worth stands at $100 million and growing. But his real value is his manhood. He takes care of his responsibilities and provides for his wife and family in non-financial ways as well.

At the end of the day, remind people to get their priorities in line. Realize what’s truly important before it’s too late. Forgive yourself for making mistakes. But shame on you for making the same mistakes repeatedly. Ironically, Steve Harvey is most likely the highest profile comedian in the world because of his Miss Universe screw-up. The takeaway is to learn from your failures in order to succeed.


I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Louis C.K. Rolled Into 1 Big Fattie

BY: GURU JAY

Do you watch Louie on FX? I used to binge watch episodes every now and then. Louis C.K. is George Carlin, George Lopez, and Jerry Seinfeld rolled into 1 big fattie. The comedian observes life from another lens and a different scope.
Who are your top 10 comedians working today? Louis C.K. makes my top 10 because of his nonchalant style. I like him better than Kevin Hart, who goes overboard sometimes.
Louis C.K. is old fashioned and distinguishable. He gives you just enough. Louie won’t wave a big juicy steak in your face because then you’ll bite off more than you can chew. He’ll feed you one forkful at a time like a true gentleman.
If you appreciate the comedic genius of Kevin James, then Louie is your guy. Comedy is weak without a strong personality. Louis C.K. lays in the cut, but lives on the edge. FX labels his Louie material TVMA (Mature) for this reason.   


The comedy business has changed significantly since yesterday. It’s no longer the hardest gig in the entertainment industry. Talented actors have a much harder time than talented comics. You’re not going to make it unless you look like Olivia Wilde and act like Julia Roberts, sorry.
Let’s campaign for more Louis C.K. movies?
Can you imagine Louis C.K., Jim Carrey, and Ricky Gervais in the same movie? Tell me you would go see that flick.
You see Louis C.K. became a standup comic when the tough got going. Back in his day, getting attention from the media (they called it press) was a science. Nowadays, anything can potentially go viral. 

I admire Louis C.K.’s brand of comedy. Louis C.K. blew up. Who could have predicted that he would get this huge? I highly recommend his standups because they tell the truth and nothing but lies.


I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Kissing Kylie Jenner

BY: GURU JAY

  

Can you picture having it all? There’s no need to worry about bills piling up to your ceiling fan. Everything is under control.
You see Kylie Jenner has it all. What more could she want? She’s rich, young, and beautiful. In other words, “Baby, kiss me.” Fly me to the moon!
Look at those lips. You want to kiss them. Kissing Kylie Jenner is on everybody’s to-do list. After seeing her enticing eyes, long flowing hair, and curvaceous body you’re hooked.

While we’re on this topic, enjoy Jennifer Aniston Vs. Angelina Jolie: Why Angelina Should Kiss Jennifer’s Feet.
Plus Jenner’s brand is highly marketable. She has already reached over 56 million Instagram followers. Few can live up to the reputation she’s built on and off social media. Her fans absolutely adore her every action.
The spotlight literally shines on Kylie for a living. Moreover, the sensual reality TV star is a sensation. You can bank on her tender image and likeness selling all types of products. Every corporation wants to lock her down in 7 figure deals right now. They must wait their turn though. 

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Fortunately, Kylie learned from the best- “momager” Kris Jenner and the one and only Kim Kardashian. I like Kim because she didn’t leave her sisters in the dust. You know that scene from Lilo and Stitch, “Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind.”
Video Game App
So, you think you want to be like Kylie Jenner, check out Kendall and Kylie. Imagine you were a celebrity. You are finally granted access to VIP. These parties and rendezvouses are amazing, aren’t they?
What is the secret to cultivating Kylie Jenner’s kind of brand and star power? I can’t reveal it. But Nick Jonas provides a clue in his Levels lyrics “There’s so much to discover…” You see premium information comes at a cost.  
I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Remembering Robin Williams

BY: GURU JAY

Do you remember watching Flubber as a kid or a grownup even? Who could forget that bubbly giant blue genie from Aladdin? How about that tear-jerking and gut busting Patch Adams movie? Like you, Robin Williams serves my memory well. He had six senses and humor was one of them.
Robin Williams was an alien because his comedy was out of this world. Moreover, his spirit is still alive. We always saw him in a bright light. He was a kind, generous, and genuine human being.
Most of his movies like Jack, Happy Feet, and Bicentennial Man brought families closer together. They were also meaningful and thought provoking. Many of his films reflected on humanity.

We find that life is a set of circumstances. The path is never straight because there are roadblocks and redirections. Yet, we “get by with a little help from our friends.”
Robin Williams was a friendly guy. He could relate to almost anyone from Hollywood’s elite to the cashier struggling to pay rent. And The Good Morning Vietnam actor could identify with the American Marine serving his 3rd tour in the Middle East too.
In fact, the great comedian went over to war-torn territory to tell jokes in front of our brave troops. This should show you Mr. Williams was sincere. He cared deeply about the lives of others, especially his family.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

I feel you are not measured by the amount of money you leave, but by how much happiness you bring to others. Have you seen Robin Williams HBO standup special? All of his standups are such a pleasure to watch. While displaying his talent, creativity, and might simultaneously, the legend seized moments.
And so, remember Robin Williams for his reputation. You could always count on him. Even Santa Clause envied Robin William’s gifts.

I am Guru Jay launching into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!