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The Martian Movie Review

BY: GURU JAY
The Martian Movie Review

If you’re a regular at Guru Jay, you know The Martian is my kind of movie. I expect this film to be number 1 at the box office for the third consecutive week. Numbers indicate that The Martian might become director Ridley Scott’s best movie ever.
Tonight, my initial thought was: what are comedians Kristen Wiig and Donald Glover doing in this particular piece? After viewing the film, now I realize that they are three-dimensional actors. Who can complain about this wonderful cast? Jeff Daniels, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kate Mara, Michael Peña…
The Plot
Matt Damon plays an astronaut (Mark Watney) stranded on Mars because his crew abruptly aborts their mission due to a severe storm. His crewmembers leave him behind thinking he’s dead. However, the determined character lives through this tribulation and awaits rescue.
Luckily, Watney’s a botanist who figures out how to grow food for survival purposes. “The Martian” finally contacts NASA, who already gave him a memorial. Soon, the public learns he is alive. Then, the whole world prepares for his return home safely.

Typically, it would take 4 years to travel to Mars. However, Watney may come home earlier than imagined because of a fortunate discovery. Without a doubt the proposition is risky. What option will NASA take?
Jessica Chastain plays mission commander Melissa Lewis. To her credit, she never wanted to abandon Watney. Nonetheless, she is pivotal to the storyline. I won’t spoil it any further for you. If you’re into science, go check it out.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Closing Thoughts

The cinematography is on point. The Martian is realistic and futuristic as possible. The audience will enjoy spectacular visual effects aligned with technology’s capabilities. We must acknowledge Andy Weir’s great literary contribution.
My main criticism is the movie progresses slowly. Whenever we watch Matt Damon we’re used to seeing fast action-packed scenes. In spite of this, I believe The Martian is brilliant. This is Matt Damon’s magnum opus. You won’t find a carbon copy.


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Kendra Wilkinson Vs. Heidi Montag: Who Is the Sweeter Reality TV Eye Candy?

BY: GURU JAY
Kendra Wilkinson Vs. Heidi Montag: Who Is the Sweeter Reality TV Eye Candy?


Have you heard the news about Playboy no longer featuring nude models? It is important for every brand to reinvent itself. For 50 plus years, Hugh Hefner consistently provided controversial material to the public. In addition, he made hundreds of stars famous. One such star goes by the moniker Kendra Wilkinson.
Kendra Wilkinson represents reality TV like Bernie Sanders. There’s nothing conservative about Kendra’s platform. In the past, she openly dated an 80-year-old gentleman. Now, the Girl Next Door is married to an ex-football player. What other reality TV star can outshine her resume? The answer is Heidi Montag.

Heidi Montag befriended Lauren Conrad becoming a focal point on Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. Later, Lauren and Heidi were reality stars on another hit show called the Hills. Unfortunately for Conrad, Montag dated, engaged, and married her ex boyfriend Spencer Pratt.
So, I ask the question: who is the sweeter reality TV eye candy? Both Heidi and Kendra are drama queens. Also, they always look amazing. But who do you believe is the bigger name?


My short answer is Heidi Montag. This celebrity simply has more reality TV experience than the other. In other words, the celeb has pissed off more people than what’s tolerated. Moreover, MTV not only invented reality TV, they produce the best shows. Who remembers the highly successful Real World?
The entertainment business thrives off celebrities going at each other’s throats. Kendra is a sweetie, while Heidi is pure sugar. Both are processed and superficial. Still, at the end of the day they are two interesting characters.
Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
If you want to know how to go viral, if you want 1 million Twitter followers, then let Kendra Wilkinson and Heidi Montag serve you as examples. Unarguably, there is a blueprint for aspiring celebrities. And these television personalities are architects.

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How Calvin Harris Generates Electric Music

BY: GURU JAY
How Calvin Harris Generates Electric Music

Whenever we watch a Los Angeles Lakers home game at the Staples Center, we hear Elton John’s Bennie & the Jets play off the soundboard. I love that lyric “electric music and solid walls of sound.” Calvin Harris generates creative sounds like Carlos Santana.
His uncanny ability to control crowds at social events should not be minimized.

Music lovers appreciate How Deep Is Your Love by Calvin Harris & Disciples. Expect this hit record to climb up the charts quickly. The accompanying video was released 2 months ago on YouTube and already has reached more than 100 million views. Amazingly, it’s gaining momentum.

Calvin Harris makes sauna music. It’s always hot and steamy. Likewise, his ongoing relationship with Taylor Swift is pretty intense.
He’s been fortunate to collaborate with top talents Rihanna, Ellie Goulding, and Rita Ora. In another lifetime, he might have been the Prince of Scotland. Today, he’s collecting huge English Music Royalties.

How much does Calvin Harris charge to DJ weddings? Years ago when he first started I’d wager he had a figure. Currently, Calvin commands the stage like a Rihanna Navy seal. He’s turned into an international figurehead.

Musically, Calvin Harris is Prince Harry. Right now, Taylor Swift seems mesmerized by the hot and tall stud. Moreover, the one-man shop musician doesn’t buckle under pressure.

 
 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons 

Taylor Swift’s time is too precious to waste on chumps. This lad has gained respect from music’s elite. As a producer, his potential exceeds the best. His sampling compares favorably to Kanye West and Diddy.

However, the genius of Calvin Harris is that he doesn’t compete with artists. Calvin feeds off their energy. Why does every prominent nightclub in the world play his music? He is globally appealing. They say sex sells; and the Scottish gent is a “sex salesman.”
What is more, Calvin Harris maximizes his strengths.


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Tom Hanks Vs. John Travolta: Who Is The Best Legend?

BY: GURU JAY
Tom Hanks Vs. John Travolta: Who Is The Best Legend?

Whenever you doubt your abilities watch Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump played by Tom Hanks beats the odds despite possessing a low IQ. It goes to show you anything is possible.
If you desire nostalgic moments, rewind to “back in the day” and press play on movies such as Saturday Night Fever, Grease, and Look Who’s Talking. Pilot John Travolta flies high in movies and in real life. He’s on everybody’s radar screen from air traffic controllers to movie producers and goers.

Tom Hanks and John Travolta are legends. I use “legend” sparingly because too many folks misuse the word. Moreover, I rarely refer to a living person as a legend. But I believe Travolta and Hanks have done enough.
Obviously, Tom has more fans because his movies are more family friendly. That doesn’t make John any lesser of a movie star though. You see R rated movies are harder to produce than Disney- Pixar flicks.

Still, both celebrities care deeply about their families. This has been well documented. They didn’t run from their responsibilities.

One criticism is that Tom Hanks stays in his square. Do you think Tom plays it too safe? I believe John takes more risks like Taking Pelham 123.
Although I respect Hanks, he’s Steven Spielberg’s surrogate. You can say the same thing about Leonardo DiCaprio belonging to Martin Scorsese. John Travolta doesn’t belong to a director.
Let’s appreciate all they offer in front of the camera and behind the scenes. Actors gush when filming with Tom and John.
It is difficult to determine who is the best. If we’re only discussing numbers, Tom is better. If we’re factoring intangibles, Travolta wins.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

The From Paris with Love actor does all the little things right. He came out his mother’s womb acting. The Big star requires a big production, while Travolta can adjust to budget cuts.
Both have mastered their crafts. Both have debuted world premieres. There is only one Tom Hanks and John Travolta per generation.

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How Kevin Hart Became A Supernova

BY: GURU JAY
  
In my first semester of undergrad I received all A’s. This hot redhead I hanged with teased, “you’re an overachiever.” I told her I’m only an achiever with 4 different scholarships to maintain.


They say Kevin Hart overachieves too, but he really doesn’t. Like Aziz Ansari, Hart is a scholar of comedy. And he is a rock star.


This comedian made himself into a global brand and universal star. Could he be the first comic to harness solar energy? What does the Let Me Explain comic think about going green?

There’s something bigger and better than money, which drives Kevin Hart into action. Sure, the celeb has a lucrative endorsement with Ford. But like me, what truly drives him is passion.

The Real Husbands of Hollywood celeb achieved a lot. If he’s not on a comedy tour, he’s filming his TV show and movies. Kevin Hart succeeds in the comedy business because he doesn’t quit. Tough competitors outperform others because closing doors ring bells.


After your dreams become reality, what will you do next? Look at the Get Hard and Ride Along actor as a perfect example. Although he could have rested on his laurels, Kevin went on world tours. This man has been everywhere telling everyone his jokes.

I won’t say he makes me laugh harder than Chris Tucker, Tracy Morgan, and Martin Lawrence. I will say he grinds harder than Tony Hawk. Hollywood insiders respect his hustle. Who can challenge the naturally funny man’s supernatural work ethic?

Kevin Hart became a supernova overtime. Early on, he decided Hollywood stardom wasn’t enough. In the process, this superstar built an unrivaled fandom on social media.

What comedian comes close to drawing Kevin Hart’s numbers at shows? He has unmatchable brand/star power. To sum it up, where there’s passion, there’s profit.


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Why There Won’t Be Another Kid Rock

BY: GURU JAY


When Kid Rock is in the studio or onstage he utilizes electronic instruments and technology to the fullest. He maintains his relevancy and remains unflustered by technology’s rapidness. Looking at his Twitter, glancing at his Facebook, or reading his Wikipedia won’t fully measure his superstardom. Kid Rock may be old school but the new kids on the block respect him.
What’s more, he loves performing in front of thousands. It is an unbelievable feeling hearing fans scream at the top of their lungs. Everyone occupying the space is there on your behalf.
Cherish Kid Rock while you can. There won’t be another like him. The musician leads a fascinating lifestyle.
He’s a single man, so groupies will do anything to gain his attention. Who doesn’t want to be a pop or rock star? Celebrities make small fortunes from appearances alone.

Celebs are given free stuff all the time. Kid Rock is a rare sighting because he’s an outlaw. You see although Rock receives star treatment, he understands the price of freedom.
The celeb stirs controversy like coffee every morning. Moreover, he’s loyal to his roots. He represents Michigan better than congressmen. Also, Eminem owes him a steak dinner because Kid wasn’t served a full course meal on a silver platter.
As a white boy, he engaged in risky behavior associating with Murder Capital aka Detroit. Kid Rock defines celebrity because he always celebrates.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
The Born Free songwriter lives the American Dream unapologetically. Who else has successfully crossed rock, rap, pop, and country genres? His duets with Sheryl Crowe are priceless.
There’s no doubt he is one of a kind. This self-taught musician can play various instruments. Kid doesn’t need to make the band, because he is the band. 5 am trains don’t deliver like Kid Rock delivers to his people.


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Why Aziz Ansari Is A Rock Star Of Comedy

BY: GURU JAY

  
Someone in my family, I won’t name who, repeatedly mistakes the identities of Aziz Ansari and Kal Penn. They share similarities, but there is a distinction. If you haven’t seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, you’re only missing out on one of the top 10 comedy movies of all time. I could write an eBook on Harold and Kumar 1, 2, and 3. But, I remind you Aziz Ansari is not the character “Kumar.”
Ansari is a phenomenal standup comedian and actor. Right now you can find his specials on Netflix along with every Parks & Recreation episode. Plus, he is the bomb in 30 Minutes or Less.

I’ve seen all his standups and can attest to his rock star status. The South Carolina native takes you there and everywhere. There is a reason why he’s seen chauffeuring model chicks in that Jay Z and Kanye West music video.

After graduating from New York University, he entered the funny business with all smiles. Frowns are rarely seen coming across his face unless it’s part of a sketch. Like me, he’s a student of comedy, but he practices what he preaches in front of crowds north of 10,000 people. He is a teacher, but not a guru.
Seriously, Aziz is a rock star. I believe Eddie Murphy became the first rock star of comedy. And Aziz is probably the 19th one.

 Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Like him, I’m a Millennial. And I believe he does our generation proud. Ironically, Aziz dominates this digital age by not boasting.
I hope to write blogs as great as his joke telling. His comedy pays homage to Richard Pryor, George Carlin, and Dave Chappelle with an original spin. Who’s watching his Comedy Central Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening exclusive?

In 4 words: This is the End.

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