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Kingsman: The Secret Service Movie Review

BY: GURU JAY

Want to watch an action-packed movie? Go see Kingsman: The Secret Service. Now playing, Kingsman has already received international recognition.
You’ll enjoy interesting characters played by veteran actors Colin Firth, Michael Caine, and Samuel L. Jackson. Also, newcomers Taron Egerton and Sophie Cookson give noteworthy performances. The casting director selected a talented cast with a nice mixture of skills.
Colin Firth stars as Kingsman Harry, who bailouts Gary (Egerton). Gary’s father died while saving Harry’s life. So, Harry takes Gary under his wing out of respect; and, he grooms the lad.
Gary and the group of recruits undergo tough Kingsman training. They’re drowned. Tied to train tracks. And they jumped out of a jet.
The agency informs the recruits that there’s room for only one Kingsman. Unfortunately, Gary failed their last test. However, in a way he passed with flying colors in my book.
As agent Harry, Firth, makes you believe he is a killing machine. Harry will fight Tom and Dick anywhere and anytime. The film contains the most incredible fight scenes since Bourne Supremacy.
“ Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark.”
Samuel L. Jackson plays Richmond Valentine, a billionaire who concocts an evil notion to reduce world population. Valentine envisions a massacre where everybody kills one another.
Richmond Valentine’s right-hand woman Gazelle kicks ass similar to Edward Scissorhands in the barber seat. Gazelle uses her legs to lower ears. She is one of my favorites.
Harry pays the ultimate sacrifice while trying to stop Valentine. Now, Gary and the Kingsman Secret Service must save the world. Meanwhile, the Swedish Princess lies in Richmond’s prison.
Overall, I give the film 4 stars. Director Matthew Vaughn earns a B+. Give extra credit to the music and editing departments. The screenwriters composed an excellent script. Want to see Kingsman: The Secret Service?
I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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action Box Office Channing Tatum classism Entertainment fantasy film critic Guru Jay Hollywood Jupiter Ascending Mila Kunis money movie review Movies science fiction society The Wachowskis time

Jupiter Ascending Movie Review

BY: GURU JAY

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis light up the screen in Jupiter Ascending. If fantasy and science fiction are your cups of teas, you may find the film somewhat interesting. But first let me warn you! This movie is not for everyone.
Tatum plays Caine Wise, a universal hunter and soldier. Kunis stars as Earth’s queen Jupiter Jones. Neither Caine nor Jupiter feel entitled because of their stations in life. In fact, Jupiter doesn’t even discover she’s royalty until halfway through the movie.
Jupiter Ascending has horrible plot development. The directors skip scenes like rocks in the pond. However, in spite of poor direction, the computer graphics are superb.
In Jupiter Ascending’s case, the plot thins rather than thickens. The dialogue needs a facelift. I’m sorry I tried to give this movie a C.
After a little contemplation, I decided to issue an incomplete grade. Giving Jupiter Ascending a D would be too harsh. It’s an ambitious project deserving constructive criticism and debate, not a Razzie award. Contrary to popular opinion, the movie isn’t a flop.
On the positive side, I really liked the concept and theme. The film crew show a method to their madness. Furthermore, the film has an important message.
The Wachowskis send a memo that in the scheme of things, time is more precious than money. “Your job is what you do, not who you are.” Don’t relegate yourself to daily duties.

In the end, Jupiter Jones could deal with cleaning toilets. A lot of times, you’re guilty of sizing someone up based upon limited information. Classism pervades throughout our society. Also, entitlement poses real problems. Once Caine gets his wings and Kunis secures her title, they’re still the same individuals.
In a nutshell, the film earns high marks for its creativity and imagination. However, it isn’t very logical and quite confusing. Though the film is hard to explain, I won’t knock it because it feels good.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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Beck Beyoncé Celebrities concerts Ed Sheeran Entertainment Grammys Guru Jay Hollywood Kanye West Katy Perry Lady Gaga Music One Direction Paul McCartney Pharrell Recap Rihanna Sam Smith Stay With Me

Relive the Grammys: Recap

BY: GURU JAY

Pharrell’s Happy performance highlighted the 57th annual Grammy Awards. The Voice judge and his minions commanded the onstage voyage. All the singing and dancing lifted our spirits. Who else clapped along with Pharrell?
The absence of music in this so-called ‘advanced’ yet divided world causes ruckus. In essence, music connects people better than technologies such as: Verizon, iPhones, Google, Facebook and Twitter. Please don’t underestimate Pandora and YouTube’s power. Music saves humanity from destruction.
When Beck won best album, I first thought billionaire David Geffen paid off the Academy. Beck is one of Geffen records’ prized assets. Were you stunned when Prince called Beck? I said to my friends, Prince is probably stoned and incorrectly read the card.
During the announcement, Kanye West teased Beck by pretending to takeaway his trophy. After the show ended, Fox News reported West verbally punched the musician and the Grammys. Kanye reiterated why Beyoncé deserved top honors.
West, Rihanna, and Paul McCartney put on a great performance. You can watch FourFiveSeconds on RihannaVevo. Frankly I’m pissed by the lack of respect this new generation gives to Paul McCartney. Paul and the Beatles paved the way for Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer and many more musicians and bands.

In addition, I enjoyed watching superstars Sam Smith and Mary J. Blige sing Stay With Me. Sunday night belonged to Sam Smith who gathered four Grammys. The Academy loves Lonely Hour because Smith poured his heart into the album. Also, Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud featuring John Mayer moved the crowd. The Grammys demonstrated why they are the best entertainment award show.
President Obama, who earned two Grammys, recorded a moving speech against domestic violence. Then, Katy Perry gave an emotional rendition of By the Grace of God. Finally, Beyoncé sang Take My Hand Precious Lord. Glory singers Common and John Legend concluded the night with a glorious recital.
The Grammys prove that music still contains a message. Even in a materialistic society, there are things more valuable than money. Love and Happiness are priceless.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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How Beyoncé Became Famous

BY: GURU JAY


Is it ironic that Queen Bee’s music creates buzz? If Beyoncé were an artist, she’d sculpt masterpieces. The Flawless songstress makes passionate ballads and original songs.

Like Tina Turner, Beyoncé drives a Hummer. Big wheels keep on turning and the proud Ava Maria singer keeps on singing. Bee rolls around in Rolls Royce’s as well as dough.

Because Beyoncé delivers like Fed Ex, she tops my favorite pop star list. There’s a ton of musicians who lookup to Queen Bee. What is more, music lovers appreciate her steadiness. While Partition receives the highest critical acclaim, other songs such as: Rocket, No Angel, XO and Drunk in Love are noteworthy titles on the self-titled Beyoncé album.

Who else dreamt of dating Beyoncé? Who remembers when the dream girl posed on the Sports Illustrated magazine cover? Do new fans understand the entertainer’s gradual rise? Nothing, except miracles, happens overnight.


Beyoncé became famous by constantly touring and making media appearances. In addition to practicing routines, Queen Bee practices humility. In spite of sometimes appearing narcissistic, the Houston native doesn’t have a problem with staying grounded. 

Mrs. Knowles-Carter recently reached peak performance. Can you imagine the Freakum Dress creator getting freakier? By now, you’ve learned to never underestimate her sexiness.

The entertainer’s dance moves are mesmerizing. Fifth Harmony mimics Knowles’s choreography and discography. Fifth Harmony grew up imitating Destiny’s Child. 

In retrospect, Beyoncé used Destiny’s Child as a steppingstone. Going solo may have been lucrative for Bee but at who’s expense? Furthermore, who’s really at fault for Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams’s fading fame?

Hopefully, Fifth Harmony stays the course like Coldplay. However, if it means creating the next Beyoncé they should breakup. You see they don’t make them like this anymore.

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Beyoncé is famous for a reason. Becoming a celebrity is like playing poker. In the words of Tupac Shakur, Queen Bee got dealt a hell of a hand- 1 royal flush.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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acting Beyoncé brand names Celebrities dancing Diddy Entertainment Hollywood Jay Z Jennifer Lopez JLo Mariah Carey Movies Music Real Housewives Shakira singing

How Jennifer Lopez Built the JLo Brand

BY: GURU JAY

Nowadays, anybody can be famous. Buy a digital camera or use your fancy iPhone to record your intriguing or foolish lifestyle. Look no further than the Real Housewives as a prime example.

Long before reality TV, Jennifer Lopez was real. In fact, JLo lived by that motto coining a song I’m Real. Respect Jennifer Lopez because she’s truly talented. 

ROCK THAT BODY

In the process of building her brand, the entertainer reportedly insured her ass for $27 million. With the invention of Nicki Minaj now the price of booty has doubled. In this superficial industry, JLo’s body rocks like a Black Eyed Peas song.

The super fly lady’s body is out of sight. She works hard to stay in shape. Give credit where it is due. Who represents Puerto Rico and the Bronx better than Jenny from the block?

BRAND NAME

Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Like Pepsi and Blue Magic, JLo is a brand name. Why hasn’t American Gangster Denzel Washington made a movie with Jennifer? Hollywood has dropped the ball.

Jennifer Lopez constantly complains about choosing the wrong partner. Frankly, the triple threat celebrity intimidates boyfriends. You see we still live in a world where men are expected to provide for their families.

Puff Daddy (Diddy) and JLo were perfect for each other. Although her love didn’t cost a thing, Lopez needed a bossy man. Jay Z might listen to Beyoncé but in the end he calls all the shots.

JLo shines brightly because like a distant star she’s been here awhile. Without Lopez, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato would not be multimillionaires. People pay attention to Jennifer, because she’s an exceptional entertainer who crossed boundaries.

Music lovers and movie buffs can’t get enough of Jennifer Lopez. Who makes better dance music and romantic flicks than the booty pioneer? Good music makes girls twerk their butts. In a recent blog post, I proposed that Jennifer Lopez and Shakira make a single. I want to see JLo and Mariah Carey too.

 I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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CIA Entertainment Episode 11 FBI gladiators hostage Kerry Washington legal drama Olivia Pope political corruption political thriller President Recap Scandal Season 4 suspense TGIT TV Vice President

Scandal: Season 4, Episode 11 Recap

BY: GURU JAY

Despite cruel circumstances, Olivia Pope manages to preserve her brainpower. The crisis manager gets inside the kidnapper’s mind by autosuggesting ideas and manipulating his thought process. Like a true gladiator, Pope is still in power and ready to rumble.


In Episode 11, Olivia convinces her captor to abolish plans and take action on his own accord. Pope plants in his head that exploiting her will help him control the president. And by virtue of controlling the president, the hostage taker will have the world in his palms. Apparently, the captor fell asleep in civics class, because there are three branches of government and a balance of power.

During the ending, they show Olivia flying on a private plane with her hostage taker. Pope’s predicament is literally and figuratively up in the air. Contacting President Fitzgerald lets Huck and fellow gladiators know she’s alive and active on the grid.

Kerry Washington’s character calculates like a Texas Instrument graphing calculator. Pope requests a glass of water to create a reflection revealing the kidnappers’ operations. Thinking ten steps ahead, Olivia has placed her captors in mental bondage.

Vice President Andrew Nichols is the puppeteer pulling President Fitzgerald’s strings. Luckily, Nichols drops his guard allowing the First Lady to steal his cell phones. Soon the Second Lady delivers the goods to the Scandal team. They now have enough information to connect the dots and indirectly communicate. 

They came so close to rescuing Pope. Still, who can say if the raid would have been successful? Olivia could have died during the seizure.

It might sound crazy but I’m happy they didn’t save Olivia Pope. Olivia’s trying to save herself by taking matters in her own hands. Scandal’s message is simply about self-reliance. Instead of waiting for someone else to rescue you, save yourself.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!
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American Idol booty Celebrities Colombians Cubans dancers entertainers Entertainment Guru Jay Jennifer Lopez Latinos Madonna Music Musicians Puerto Ricans Shakira Singers The Voice twerking Twitter

How Shakira Became a Quadruple Threat

BY: GURU JAY

Recently, Shakira amassed 100 million Facebook likes, setting a Guinness World Record. Socially, what celebrity can compete with the musician’s global appeal and international recognition? Evidentially, the Beautiful Liar songstress leads more followers than Twitter suggests.
As her ship’s captain, the Colombian singer steals booty like a Caribbean pirate. Because she sings in Spanish and English, her influence reaches twice as many people. Who affects more individuals than the Latin American sensation?
In a nutshell, Shakira became a quadruple threat by consistently creating exciting movements. Judging by her body of work, the music lover likes dancing and keeping her lovely figure. Anatomically, Shakira defines sexiness with her curvaceous physical structure.
If Kim Kardashian supposedly broke the Internet, then the Can’t Remember to Forget You celebrity breaks YouTube all the time. The Bohemian is iconic and legendary in entertainment circles. According to Forbes, the entertainer resides in Nassau, Bahamas.


The Whenever Wherever musician maintains a relentless mentality and elevated attitude. What is more, Shakira seems confident and capable. Though the first-class entertainer plays multiple instruments, she doesn’t play second fiddle.

Furthermore, the multi-talented celebrity keeps muliti-millions in her Swiss and Cayman bank accounts. It makes perfect sense why she isn’t an American citizen… One word: taxes. Facebook cofounder Eduardo Saverin renounced his American citizenship in order to avoid taxation before the social media company’s historic Initial Public Offering.  
If they were stocks, I would buy Shakira before Madonna. While the Material Girl pays better dividends, the She Wolf has a higher valuation. Although they’re both sex symbols, the Colombian singer commands more attention.
Photos By: Wikimedia Commons
What’s stopping Voice judge from recording and performing with American Idol judge Jennifer Lopez? A diverse population wants to see this collaboration happen. And we all know Shakira makes it happen! That’s how she became a quadruple threat.

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1!