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Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens

BY: GURU JAY
Dancing with the Washed-Up Has-Beens


On Thursday, I watched Dancing with the Stars (DWTS). You know I didn’t see a lot of stars. All I saw were washed-up has-beens.

Why am I so harsh? According to Dancing with the Stars everybody is a celebrity. If this is the case, who wants to be famous?
I want to be a millionaire instead.
DWTSfunctions like Twitter. As a consequence, the show is in decline. It’s losing because it serves a minority. The best shows cater to the majority.
Do you watch DWTS religiously? Do you see what I see? What do you like about the imported TV show?
Don’t get me wrong. The show is watchable. There were many high points and bright moments during the premiere.
However, the hosts are capable of providing better entertainment. Why do we need two hosts anyway? Tom Bergeron can host the show all by himself.

Also, I don’t mind the judges individually but they lack teamwork. It’s about DWTSfirst, and the hosts and judges second. Listen up, DWTS
I got four words for you: Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan. The reason American Idol broke records is because of the show’s chemistry. It’s too bad they couldn’t recuperate.
American Idol wasted millions. They treated folks like Frankenstein. When Paula Abdul left, the ratings never recovered.
Ratings
Will the audience stop watching? I’m afraid that DWTS could go the American Idol way. But, I believe DWTS will revamp and retool.
Don’t mess with a winning formula. If it works, leave it alone. If it doesn’t work, fix it.

It’s clear that Dancing with the Stars is getting old. My recommendation is to fire Erin Andrews. And, Keep Bergeron to stay credible.

Why on earth is Andrews on DWTS? Erin should go back to ESPN and hone her craft. 

Right now DWTS is inauthentic.
Here’s an idea: give Erin her own show. Let her do whatever she wants. But preserve her brand.
Fortunately, it’s not too late. DWTS can still become the default TV show. As long as they serve families, Dancing with the Stars will maintain its relevancy.

I call it the Kim Kardashian rippling effect. Anyone who associates with her is a celebrity. And, anyone who associates with her associates is a celebrity. And so on…
This is the 19th season of DWTS. Why is this Alfonso Ribeiro’s first appearance? 

I point the finger at the producers.
I expected a shorter show. Two hours is one hour too long for a talent show. What’s your opinion as a fan?
In spite of the shenanigans, I give Monday’s premiere a B +, because season 19 has a tasty mix of talent. The casting crew created an interesting selection.
Weeks To Come
In the weeks to come, look for drama. All TV shows experience a rough patch. Who’s going to lose their cool this time?

Julianne Hough is out to prove herself. Some say she’s living in her brother Derek’s shadow. Many celebs feel she is unqualified.
Len Goodman is an accomplished dancer. He doesn’t like Julianne. Body language speaks volumes. Len takes this stuff seriously.
Applaud Dancing with the Stars for making this tweak. They recognized Julianne Hough’s potential as a judge. She is a triple threat celeb who adds value.
But, is Julianne qualified in the eyes of Carrie Ann and Bruno? They won’t admit their distaste for her publicly. But, you’re smart enough to see through it.

Casting Tommy Chong was a good decision. But Lolo Jones sucked. In fact, Lolo got booed.
She came out the gate with a negative attitude. Why? Lolo is her own worst enemy.
Bruno likened Tavis Smiley to a nifty fifty. Yeah right! Watch the stiff Smiley get voted off next week.
I’ve seen a dramatic shift this season. They’re showcasing top talent. And it’s not unusual!
Save the last dance for Carlton. He’s the obvious front- runner. Jimmy Kimmel picked himto win before the first show aired.
Still watch out for the Duck Dynasty daughter. She’s young and limber. You know the youngest contestants have an edge.
Although the mature stars look sharp now, can they stay in shape for the long haul? How many times did dancers withdraw from competition because of broken backs?
It’s nice seeing celebrities do splits and flips. But I don’t want anybody to get hurt. Don’t try to be 25, when you’re really 75.
Which brings me to my question: Should we institute an age limit? The answer is a resounding no.
Instead impose strict physical policies. Stars should meet a certain fitness level. This is not the Biggest Loser. This is Dancing With the Stars, people!
On The Judges

And the last thing we need is to lose a star due to political correctness (no one wants to offend senior citizens). The AARP is powerful. Case in point, you don’t see an 80 year-old NASCAR driver. Why can’t our oldest celebrities judge?
Midway through the season, these judges will click. DWTS doesn’t have to break the bank in order to put on a worthy show. That’s why the franchise continues to succeed.
How does Fox justify giving “judges” 8 figure salaries? I’ll shut-up because I may receive an offer. Seriously though, it’s wasteful spending. My grandpa said, “don’t waste money.”
How many mouths can we feed with $10 million? All I am saying is to take responsibility for your actions as well as your inactivity. If they pay you $20 million, that’s fine. But make sure you don’t behave foolishly.
Fate
I’m a firm believer that it takes money to make money. Dancing with the Stars may be too conservative for its own good. I’m against wasteful spending but you must invest.
If you don’t invest your cash, you’re wasting money. Next season, the show will celebrate its 20th anniversary. So I suspect they’re saving up for a spectacular special event.
No show will survive without viewers. Don’t stop watching Dancing with the Stars. And, don’t stop believin’!

I am Guru Jay launching off into orbit in 5-4-3-2-1! Like me on Facebook

Attribution- Photos By: Wikimedia Commons

Categories
24 (India) American Idol Cuba Dalai Lama Exported Imported Kim Kardashian Law & Order North Korea O.C. Pope Francis Reality shows Reruns The Voice TV TV and Showbiz TV shows Walking Dead

Imported Vs. Exported TV Shows

By: Guru Jay

Imports and Exports


You better not get caught sneaking a Cuban cigar into the Florida Everglades. That’s a big no-no. Your best bet is to go to Denver or Seattle and puff, puff and puff away.


Don’t be like Dennis Rodman and import luxury goods into North Korea. That’s a big red flag for the TSA. I’m quite sure they gave Rebounding Rodman a full body cavity search.


You can become super rich by running a legitimate import/export business. Familiarize yourself with International Law & Order and you’ll be a millionaire in no time. If you want to be a billionaire, try importing and exporting Television shows.


Did you know the Law & Order TV show was exported to the United Kingdom? 
Or that Shark Tank was imported from Japan? Or that Married with Children was exported to Argentina?

Married With Children Argentina


The Diversity of Television


Turn on your TV. Change the channel. Do a little channel surfing this spring.


Isn’t television great? If you missed your favorite show, ten times out of ten the episode will be repeated. Do you know people who watch the same show and same episode over and over again?


Oh, am I describing you or “your best friend” (wink, wink)? There’s no shame in loving TV. There’s something on TV for everyone to enjoy.


You have your pick of the litter. If you want to watch a show about cats, you can change to the Animal Planet channel.


Meanest Cat Ever


If you want to literally see someone surfing this spring, there is a network for you.


Have you ever wanted to walk in someone else’s boots? Why not watch Swamp People? Swamp People is the latest reality show sensation.


Stay up-to-date. TV is changing by the second. Another channel is being created as I write. 


One of my personal favorites is HBO’s BoardWalk Empire. OMG, Boardwalk Empire is an experience that takes you back in time. It’s a shame the TV executives are canceling the show in the fifth season.


I have an idea. Why don’t we start a petition for Boardwalk Empire? I just hate to see the show end. There’s nothing else like the Empire.


But, I believe Boardwalk Empire must end because it is too expensive to produce. I will watch the reruns of Boardwalk though, as a way of coping with reality.


Reality is the problem. It seems everybody is addicted to reality shows now. Is this true?


I refuse to believe nobody wants to watch a well-written script and polished production. Maybe, the issue is finances. 


Boardwalk Empire


It all comes down to money. You learn in Accounting that Net Income is the bottom line. The TV executives rather make reality shows because they are cheap.


As a result, TV enthusiasts are getting hoodwinked. If it’s reality you want, they’ll make sure you get plenty of it. I’m not talking about all reality shows. I am referring to the overwhelming vast majority of them.


Reality shows inevitably show you the hardships of life. That’s why I choose to watch sitcoms, TV dramas, and thrillers. I have my own problems, I don’t need to see Honey Boo-Boo’s trials and tribulations.


If we wanted a reality show, we could get one. Our reality show might help pay  some of the bills. Maybe, reality shows aren’t so bad after all.


Okay, yes they are so bad! Seriously, it’s entertainment at the expense of sanity. Kim Kardashian and the K-clan have infected the minds of the youth.


Kim Kardashian

Photo By: David Shankbone

Do we really want to send the message of “shopping until you drop” to our children. Think about it. Then, get back to me.

Kim Kardashian has more Twitter followers than the Dalai Lama and the Pope combined. You can’t make this stuff up. 


Have you thought about it?


I love good television but I dislike bad television with a passion. I don’t watch a lot of TV these days. If I’m lucky I watch an hour per day.


On Sunday, the Walking Dead aired the season finale. I didn’t watch it but I read all about it. It’s everywhere on the Internet. Chime in if you’re a fan…


I dedicate this post to good TV. I compiled a list for your enjoyment. You will find a comparison of Imported Vs. Exported TV shows.


Imported TV Shows


The following TV shows originated overseas.


1. Sherlock

2. Downton Abbey

3. Flashpoint 

Hugh Dillon

Photo By: Theo & Juliet Photography

  
4. Doctor Who

5. Orphan Black

Dylan Bruce

Photo By: Tabercil
6. Crossing Lines

7. Continuum

8. The Office

9. Shark Tank

Mark Cuban

Photo By: James Duncan Davidson/O’Reilly Media, Inc.

10. Homeland

11. Big Brother

12. Ugly Betty

13. Who’s Line is It Anyway?

14. American Idol

Simon Cowell’s Best Insults 


15. The Mole

16. All in the Family

17. The Voice

Usher

Photo By: Ames Friedman

18. Sanford and Son

19. Survivor

20. Shameless

21. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

22. Dancing With the Stars

23. Iron Chef: America

Exported TV Shows


These TV shows were made in the U.S.A. 

1. O.C. (Turkey)

2. Law & Order (U.K.) 

Law & Order (U.K.)



3. The Simpsons (United Arab Emirates) 

4. The Nanny (Russia)

5. Marry With…Children (Argentina)

6. Everybody Loves Raymond (Russia)
7. The Golden Girls (Greece)

8. Prison Break (Russia)

9. 24 (India)

10. Who’s the Boss (U.K.)

11. House (Worldwide)

Hugh Laurie

Photo By: Kristin Dos Santos

I encourage you to chime in and get the discussion rolling. No matter what I say, TV is here forever. Even if we watch our favorite shows on our computers over the Internet, it is still television.

Reality shows are another component of TV that have changed the production business. Again, no matter what I write, for better or worst reality shows are here to stay. But, there is still hope for TV.

The purpose of television is to inform and entertain. My hope is that the Guru Jay Blog has provided you informative entertainment. Keep your eyes glued to the screen… I am Guru Jay signing off… In the words of Conan O’Brien, “Bye, everybody bye!”